Ow, ow, OOOOOOOWWW!
GodDAMmit, that hurts. How in blazes is this supposed to be good for me again?
I'm speaking of a particular yoga pose: the plough. Essentially, you're on your back with your patootie high in the air and your feet behind your head. I used to be able to do this at the drop of a hat - both solo and accompanied (man, did it come in handy...hee-hee). But now that I've revisited it, I don't recall being this blasted uncomfortable.
No. 1 - My larynx is being crushed by my own boobs. What the hell did I ever do to them?? Spent a small fortune on lingerie (and kids, it's far more fun to pronounce that word with a hard "g"), massaged creams into 'em, all sorts of treats...and what do they do? Flop over and try to strangle me. Thanks a lot.
No. 2 - Did I lose a vertabra somewhere? My back is really rebelling against the stretch here and I think it has to do with all the sitting. Somewhere down my spinal cord, two back bones got so smushed together that they are now one, or merely refuse to let go of each other. Touching, but I want to leave this world with the exact same number of bones owed to me. Greedy? Really?
No. 3 - I'm tensing because I'm worried I'm going to damage something, namely me. I'm scared to hurt bad, or yikes! seriously injure myself.
This is something I'm discovering during all my excercises - I'm worried that if I twist something, it won't untwist. If I tear something, the tearing won't heal. My knees are calling "foul" whenever I go for a walk. I'm wearng the right shoes and all that good stuff, but I'm not a spring chicken. A late-summer hen of the non-laying variety is more apt.
When I was in theatre school (and dinosaurs roamed the earth), we would spend almost 80% of class time on the floor. During rehearsals, you'd sit to wait your turn, and you'd invariably be stretching to make sure your body was warmed up...at all times! Movement class, improv, some voice classes, all of these did away with desks and we'd loll about. We'd lie on each other, massages were given and received with nary a request either way. Our bodies could, and would, do anything.
I did a production of "Romeo and Juliet" wherein I played 3 characters, maybe more I forget, but I remember rehearsals being marathon fitness classes. Running around, dancing, we'd be on stage all the time. Every now and then, we'd actually say something from the script but it was an incredibly physical show and my body went along for the ride. I think I lost 30 lbs in the month and half of rehearsals and performance. (BTW, it was an all-female R&J, with only Romeo being cast gender-correct. All the women PMS-ed at the same time. Poor bastard, I wonder if he ever recovered...)
And of course, the gold standard of flexibilty was the splits. No problemo. I could go in a forward split, move my body towards the floor and have my legs fan out back and behind me. Yup, I believe my popularity took an unprecedented spike at that juncture...
Now I'm scared of a groin pull. Or, worse, a tear. I'm willing to accept that in order to succeed I'm going to have to push myself, challenge my body again, but if something goes awry, my body won't snap back. Ah age, what fun are you!
This won't deter me, of course. It can't. I must really start paying attention to form and do my excercises right. And not throw myself with gay abandon into every new move. Slow and steady wins the race, and keeps my ass outta hospital.
If only because the food's horrible...
LiliLaLarge
PS-So, did anyone buy Michael Pollan's "Food Rules"? I did and it's a treasure. A $14.99 Cdn treasure. He's my new imaginary boyfriend, so play nice!
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